I’ve been an adult for an undisclosed amount of time, but I keep reaching ages that feel like Real Adult Ones, and this is another one of those. It’s an age that makes me go “how old am i? oh yeah im— ohhh shit. oh shit. oh fuck” and start comically sweating or something to that effect.
I’m balding, I’ve got spots in weird places, my chest and back hurt, my mouth feels weird all the time, and I’ve got a whole other myriad of things wrong with me, but… I’m doing okay.
This hasn’t been my consistently happiest year but it’s been good. I’m goin’ up, y’know? I forgot what that was like for a while.
I feel like all the magic of birthdays has long drained and the joy has gone from me at the mere concept of Being The Birthday Boy, but it’s good to mark the fact that, like... I got here. I made it. It’s another year I kind of never thought I’d see. Time marches on.
Birthdays probably stopped being fun for me the day it was my birthday in my drama class and they stopped the whole lesson to sing to me really loudly and obnoxiously.
I was standing in front of the mirror, so all I could see was my own warped reflection and the reflections of the people behind me. I didn’t think anything profound, though I wish I did — I just wondered when the lesson would end so I could go out to lunch and not have to deal with these guys anymore.
That was kind of what did it for me.
I never really liked drama class. Acting with my friends was fun, though, which is why I make webseries now.
Things are going to continue to happen to me, but I’m doing alright about that fact. At least, I am right now. Maybe the breakdown just hasn’t hit yet. Maybe I’ll claw at my head screaming I’M SO OLD AND WRINKLY AUUUGH AGGAHUEHHH later.
I’m okay for now, though.
Even if I am balding.
Song of the day: Wilton, Clarkson, James by Graham Kartna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0RyRCD97D0
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